


Great Minds

by anjumstar



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Adult Themes, Dan bashing, F/M, I Love You, Post-2.7 Chuck in Real Life, Re-write, Three Words, What if?, annoying Blair, chair, eight letters, nosy Serena, season two, slight language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:35:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2730974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anjumstar/pseuds/anjumstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 2.7. Blair didn't ask for Serena's help with Chuck, Blair doesn't need Serena's help with Chuck. But when Serena decides to take it upon herself to interfere in Blair's love-life the only thing Blair can do is ignore her. But Serena's a hard person to ignore. Chair, Blair-centric.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“Great minds against themselves conspire,_

_And shun the cure they most desire.”_

_Dido and Aeneas_

“Perk up, B,” Serena chirps as she plops down next to me on the Met steps, her yogurt sloshing dangerously close to my Louboutins.

It still baffles me, even after over a decade of friendship, how Serena can be so perky all the time. Her attitude, her voluminous hair, and her C-cup boobs—all perky. A couple years ago I could have blamed it on her consistent lack of sobriety, but even now she was all a-bubble. It just wasn’t fair.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say. And I really don’t. My posture is perfect; not the least bit slouched. I am the epitome of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I tell Serena this and she just rolls her eyes at me as though I’m the one being unreasonable.

“Chuck came home pretty early last night,” Serena hints not-so-subtly, her eyes looking wide and innocent. “And I have a feeling that it wasn’t because of my mother’s and Bart’s new parenting ideals.”

“Why would I care?” And I know it sounded like I didn’t care. I’m a master of an airy façade of nonchalance.

“Blair,” Serena says simply, her voice dropping low in that way that means that she’s not playing anymore games.

I guess even the best actress can’t fool her best friend.

I sigh and weigh my options. I could try and get around telling her the truth, or I could tell a little bit of the truth and hope that that would be enough for her and she would drop the conversation. I really don’t want to talk about that Chuck Basstard any longer than I have to.

“He wants me to tell him that I love him,” I confess, making my decision.

“Well, that’s basically him telling you that he loves you, right?” Serena surmises. “So why don’t you just say it? Then you’ll have everything that you want.”

Ah, the simple-minded. I have to explain everything to her. “No, Serena, I don’t want Chuck—I don’t even care about Chuck—I want to win. And if I tell him first, then he wins and I lose. Waldorfs don’t lose.”

“But all the stuff that he’s said, I mean, he’s practically ad—”

“Practically and actually are not synonyms, Serena,” I interrupt. I know that interrupting people isn’t exactly lady-like, but I can only listen to absurdity for so long. “Besides, I don’t love Chuck Bass.”

I looked at Serena with my well-practiced look of condescension and lovingness and noticed that she had a pensive look on her face. Best avoid any further attempts of her trying to fix my love-life. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with my love-life and second of all, I didn’t want to take any advice from a person who is trying to be a recovering-platonic friend with Humphrey. I decide to take off early.

“Sorry to leave you with your yogurt, S, but all of this talk of Chuck has made me lose my appetite. I’ll see you later.”

Such a smooth, simple lie. It was a small masterpiece. The truth was that talking about Chuck had only increased my appetite and I really needed to get away before a certain itch I couldn’t scratch couldn’t get out of my head.

* * *

“Waldorf.”

Turns out no matter what I do, he won’t get out of my head. Or my life.

“Bass,” I reply easily.” And then I breeze right past him. I allow a small smirk to rise on my face as I do so. A flawless exchange.

God, I want him so badly.

No. No, I don’t.

Then Serena bounds in front of me in the hallway, hands on her shapely hips. “You want him so badly.” She then wrinkles her nose. “As much as that still truly disgusts me.”

She thinks she knows everything. After just one (failed) relationship, she thinks that she’s the love guru. And it is my duty, as her best friend to tell her she’s wrong.

So I wave her off, making an attempt to talk right by her as I had just done to her step-brother. She takes it in stride, though. Damn her long legs. I would just have to wave her off with my words instead. “A Waldorf always gets what she wants, Serena. Therefore, judging by the fact that I don’t have Chuck, we can conclude that I don’t want Chuck. It’s that simple.”

God, how many times would we have to have this discussion in one school day? I wish that for once in her life, Serena would be quick with a concept.

They say that every brunette needs a blonde best friend. I just wish that my best friend weren’t so _very_ blonde.

* * *

Finally, the end of the school day. All I have to do is walk home and then I will be free. Free from Serena and her knowing looks and free from—

“Hello, Waldorf.”

Chuck. Oh, and with extra word from last time. This must be important.

“Bass.” Still a totally solid reply.

“Serena said that you wanted to talk to me.”

I hate her, I really hate her. I should have known that her thinking face wasn’t just a fluke. She must have thought that if she pushed the two of us together something would suddenly change. Well, guess what Serena? We’re basically together all the time, what with school and all—an extra push isn’t going to make a difference.

“Well, as usual, she’s wrong. I don’t have anything to say to you.”

And for a half a second, I could have sworn that I saw a glimmer of hope from his eyes fade away. But then I blink and see nothing out of the ordinary, so I figure I must have been imagining it. If I’ve learned anything from this past year with Chuck, it’s that I can’t hurt him. I won’t even mention if the opposite is true or not.

But as he rolls up the window and ordered the driver to pull away I feel a sadness creeping up inside of me. Not my sadness, of course—I said exactly what I meant. I’m fine, wonderful even. But maybe it’s coming from him.

All thanks to Serena.

I feel bad saying this so soon after we’ve become friends again, but Serena and I aren’t friends anymore.

* * *

I invited Serena over to my house.

Yes, I know that I said that we aren’t friends, but I had to give her a little talking to. And it’s not like I can go over to her house, which is what I usually would have done, because Chuck would assuredly be there.

Not to say that I can’t be around Chuck. I have every confidence that I would be perfectly unaffected around him. At least for a short period of time.

So Serena bubbles into my penthouse, an all-too smug expression on her face. “You wanted to see me, B?”

“Serena,” I start, slowly for her benefit, “we’ve talked many times about which one of us is the better schemer. Me.”

I see Serena’s face fall as she takes in what I was saying. It always disappoints people to find out that they would never be as smart as me. “So you didn’t tell Chuck how you feel?”

“No, Serena, I did tell him how I feel. I feel nothing, so I told him nothing.”

Serena’s face then changes from disappointment to…was that pity? No. No one pities Blair Waldorf.

“Blair, how do you expect Chuck to admit it to you when you can’t even admit it to me? I mean, even Chuck told Nate…”

My eyes grow wide as Serena trails off, her eyes also wide, but with something akin to fear.

“What did you say?”

“I…uh…”

I put on my best stern look. “Serena.” My voice was low and unforgiving. No way she could lie to that.

“Well,” she starts hesitantly, avoiding my eyes, “Nate and I talked quite a bit over the summer when we were ‘fake going out’ and he mentioned that at the wedding, Chuck said that he loved you.”

The wedding. Suddenly my blood felt colder and my heart dropped. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. Not that they were or anything.

“That was before,” I say simply, turning away.

But then Serena grabs my hands in hers, pulling me back. “B, I am positive that whatever he felt for you then he only feels more for you now. And if he told Nate all the way back then, I’m sure that he’ll tell you as soon as you tell him.”

“Why? Why do I have to tell him first?” I whisper.

No use lying anymore, I guess.

Serena sits me down, prepping for a good old heart to heart. Maybe it was too early to say that we’re not friends anymore. “Because he’s afraid.”

Ooh, that’s interesting.

“What does Chuck Bass have to be afraid of?” I ask dubiously. “No longer being able to invest in the prostitution industry?”

That wasn’t it. Serena looks at me, her eyebrows raised expectantly as if I’m supposed to come up with the answer on my own.

Well, I wouldn’t have asked if I knew!

So I match her expression and we stare like that for a few moments, waiting for the other to give. Finally, Serena rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to speak.

Yay, I won the staring contest! I don’t want her to feel bad, though, so I keep the victory to myself. Look at me—I’m growing.

“You. B, he’s afraid of you.”

I can’t keep the shock out of my voice. “Me?”

Serena nods. “That’s why you need to tell him first.” She starts to move towards the door, letting herself out, but stops to say one more thing. “He’s going to be at Isabel’s party on Friday, you know.” She gives a perky little smile and then leaves.

I roll my eyes and flop against my plush comforter.

* * *

I’m not going to tell him. I’ve been thinking about it all week, and I’ve decided that there’s no way in hell that I’m going to tell him first. And I have really good reasons.

1.) The guy should always say it first. That’s how it goes in my head and that’s how I want it to be.

2.) I would lose the game!

And if those reasons aren’t good enough for him, then well, he just doesn’t get me. And why would I want to be with a guy that doesn’t understand me?

That’s just it, though…Chuck’s always been the one who understands me best. Even more than Serena (as has only been further proven by recent events). So he should know me well enough to know that I need him to say it first, right?

Anyway, now that that’s all decided, I have a party to get ready for. I had my dress and headband picked out weeks ago, now I just need to choose my earrings. I consider my options for a good twenty minutes before I finally put on the pair that I had been staring at for the past nineteen minutes.

So what if Chuck gave them to me? I’m wearing them as a sign of protest. Just to prove how unaffected I am by this whole ordeal.

Yeah. That’s it.

* * *

“I’m starting to feel kind of unsure about this whole being ‘just friends’ with Dan thing,” Serena muses as she sips on a cocktail.

Wow, who saw that one coming?

“Well, I don’t know what your red flag could have been,” I say, absentmindedly fiddling with my earrings. “Maybe it’s because you’re exes. Or, you know, maybe it’s because it’s Humphrey and being friends with him was always a bad idea.”

Serena throws me a dirty look, mumbling into her cup, “I help you with your problems.”

“Unwarranted help,” I snap back.

Then the subject of my problems (aside from Serena) appears.

“Nice earrings,” he says, his ever-present knowing smirk on his face.

I blush and my hand that was still twisting the earring around falls to my lap.

Then something shiny catches my eye, and I feel my own signature smirk rising onto my face. “Nice cufflinks,” I shoot back.

Chuck shrugs it off, as though him wearing cufflinks that I bought him isn’t as big a deal as me wearing earrings that he got me. “Great minds think alike.”

I smile.

Ah, great minds. He really does get me.

* * *

Serena invited me over to her house for dinner. Now, every time that she’s offered in the past few months (since that terrible lunch in the Hamptons) I’ve said no. But since I feel that Chuck and I made real progress at Isabel’s party, I decided that I could handle it.

What I didn’t know was that Humphrey would be at this family dinner too. Me, Chuck, Serena, Dan, and Eric’s new boyfriend. That on top of Bart and Lily’s new family ideals would definitely make this the dinner from hell.

But I’m going into it optimistically.

I arrive in the van der Bass penthouse to be greeted by a grinning Lily and Bart. That’s new. I kiss them both on the cheeks and exchange pleasantries, pretending that them trying to play the whole happy-homemaker deal is normal.

After a few moments of that I feel the smile drop from my face and a shiver go down my spine.

I turn around and am met by Chuck looking at me, not even hiding the fact that he’s sizing me up.

Good thing I wore my fuck-me heels.

“Hello, Charles,” I say easily, my polite society smile sliding back on my face.

“Blair,” he replies back with a nod. “Shall I escort you to your seat?”

A touch of skepticism finds its way into my eyebrows, but I ignore it, still playing along with Lily and Bart’s little game. “Of course.”

Of course, I’m seated right across from him and next to Humphrey. How am I supposed to eat? Here I am with Dan, squashing any inkling of an appetite that I may have had and Chuck, conveniently occasionally brushing his leg against mine, stirring up my lower appetite. If anything, I’m eating just to distract myself.

Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about conversing too much because Lily is bombarding poor Jonathan with questions. It’s a sad attempt at trying to seem like the whole gay thing doesn’t affect her at all. I’m not exactly one for sympathy, but I do feel bad for the kid.

A spark goes up my leg once again as Chuck plays footsie with me under the table. I rip a sprig of broccoli off my fork as though it’s his head.

I glance over at Serena, who is sitting next to Chuck, and she holds an expression oddly similar to the one that I know is on my face. That’s odd. That never happens.

I then (regrettably) turn to Humphrey for half a second and see a smug expression on his face that is a dumb version of Chuck’s. Oh. I get it.

I turn back to my food and not a moment later, Serena asks to be excused with Dan following soon after her. I gag slightly, regretting that most recent bite of broccoli and turn to Chuck, a knowing look of disgust on his face as well as on my own.

But then we both start to laugh, conspicuously holding our napkins up to our mouths as Lily turns her knowing eye to us.

Eventually we’re both able to stop laughing and I see a happy glint in Chuck’s eyes that’s been missing for a little while.

Maybe the dinner from hell isn’t the worst thing ever.

* * *

Sunday. Breakfast at Tiffanys with Serena and bagels. Nothing can ruin that tradition.

“Dan and I slept together,” Serena says as she settles onto my bed and starts spreading the cream cheese on her bagel.

Except talk of Humphrey. He manages to ruin everything.

“No kidding,” I say. “We all saw before kickoff.”

Ew, did I just sound like Vanessa? My life is falling apart.

“I think we might be getting back together,” Serena muses.

“Good for you.” Not usually something I would say in response to someone bumping uglies with Humphrey, but she’s interrupting Tiffanys!

“But see how easy it is, Blair?” Serena exclaims, not seeming to care about Tiffanys. “If Dan and I can do it after everything that we’ve been through, I’m sure you and Chuck can work it out if you just talk to each other.”

“Or bang in the middle of family dinner.”

“Exactly! Maybe you’d be more fun again if you did that.”

I cross my legs. If only it were that simple.

* * *

I’m alone with my minions as Serena and Dan smooch in the middle of the courtyard. Who needs her anyway? I don’t. At least she isn’t meddling while she’s busy with Humphrey’s tongue down her throat.

“Blair, is it true that you and Chuck aren’t getting back together?” Hazel asks, chomping too loudly on her celery.

“Hazel, please swallow. I know you’ve worked on that skill, so why not use it?”

Maybe Serena’s right. Maybe I do need to loosen up a little.

Nah. It’s just Hazel.

“Well, I was wondering because since you don’t seem to care, if I could, you know, talk to him a little.”

I choke a little on my yogurt and sputter for a couple moments before I finally get my breath back.

Hazel smirks. “Swallow, Blair. You may not have had a lot of practice, but it may come in handy in a few years.”

Ooh, she’s going to regret that.

* * *

She regretted it.

On the bright side, she did get to talk to Chuck a lot sooner than she thought that she would.

On the not so bright side, somehow she ended up completely topless on the stage in Victrola and was escorted out for indecent exposure.

Wow, who knows how that could have happened?

Ah, good old scheming with Chuck. Just like old times.

* * *

“Chuck told me that you guys hung out yesterday.”

I’m starting to think that Serena has ADD. She can’t ever focus on the task at hand, even when it’s something wonderful like shopping.

And more talk of Chuck. What a surprise. Ugh. Well, at least Serena bugging me about Chuck isn’t as bad as her yapping about Humphrey. Or worse, playing tonsil tennis with him where everyone—but most importantly I—can see. That’s why we’re shopping, though—That’s one place I know dear Cabbage Patch won’t dare follow Serena.

I shrug as I leaf through some dresses. “After we ruined Hazel’s life for the near future we might have gotten a few drinks. As friends. No big deal.”

“No, Blair, it is a big deal!” Serena rejoiced. “You guys are friends again! And you know what happens after friends, right?”

I glare at her.

“More than friends! If you two keep hanging out, who knows what kinds of three words, eight letters might slip out of your mouths.”

Serena then grabs a dress I had been eyeing and practically skips over to the dressing rooms.

I glower.

I wanted that dress.

* * *

I need Chuck.

I might have thought that us being friends again would make things better, but it makes it so much worse.

And even worse than that, everyone else is in a couple. Serena’s with Dan, Nate and Vanessa worked things out, and even Eric is still going strong with Jonathan. The only person as single as the two of us is Jenny, but she’s gone crazy, so who cares?

And my birthday is coming up. This is going to be my first birthday truly alone and I’m really not looking forward to it.

Not to say that it’s not going to be a hell of a night. It’s my eighteenth birthday. I’ve been planning it since before my last birthday.

But anyway, having Chuck around without being able to _have_ Chuck is driving me crazy. It’s been over two months since we kissed during that blackout. I’m not sure if anyone has ever died due to sexual frustration, but I think that I might.

I always knew that I would be famous and likely go down in record books, but I didn’t ever think that it would be for that.

“Blair, do you need me to buy you a vibrator for your birthday?”

I immediately put on the most repulsed face I can make imaginable and make it abundantly clear to Serena that I’m judging her for even thinking it.

Serena just shrugged. “It’s clear you need it badly. That’s why you’ve been in such a bad mood, even though you and Chuck have been hanging out.”

That’s just it, though. He’s been actually… _nice_ lately. It’s almost like we’re dating again, minus the sex.

It’s unbearable.

“Why don’t you just do yourself a favor, B, and tell him that you love him as your own little birthday present to yourself?”

Just then I see him walk by.

God, I love him.

He smirks at me and gives a little wink and I squeeze my thighs a little closer together.

I’m disgusted to find myself actually considering the vibrator for half a second.

* * *

Ugh, I hate working out. It is so much easier to stay thin by just not eating anything. But Serena suggested that it would get rid of some of my tension, and as much as I hate to admit that she’s right, I really needed to give it a try. At this point, I was hoping for anything to work.

Anything short of saying those three words, at least.

“Dan said that he thinks that you’re weak.”

Okay, so what if my face is red and blotchy while Serena’s only has a light glisten of sweat? It just makes her look radiant while I look like I’m about to pass out.

“I hope you smacked him in the face for that,” I bite out, running faster to prove a point. “We both know I could beat his ass any day.

“No, not physically,” Serena replies easily. “He thinks that you’re weak for not telling Chuck how you feel.”

Not even dignifying that with a response, I hop off the treadmill and walk with only a slight wobble over to the dumbbells and reach for the fifteens.

Serena slows her own pace and looks at me with confusion. “What are you doing? I thought that you didn’t lift because you wanted _lady-like shoulders_?” she asks.

I grunt. “Who cares about having man-shoulders when my primary goal in life now is to punch Dan Humphrey in the balls so hard that the two of you can never unleash your spawn onto the world?”

* * *

One of my necklaces came off hold. The Cartier one.

I’m not excited. I won’t allow myself to get excited. It could just as easily be from my mother or Cyrus trying to earn brownie points as it could be from Chuck. Or it could be Serena messing with my mind. That sounds just like something that she would do right now.

After I went through all the trouble of inviting Humphrey to my party, though, I can’t believe that she would do something like that. So I’m just going to assume that it’s my mother.

But it is the nicest necklace…

Who cares? I have a party to get ready for.

And a dress with an open neckline.

* * *

The party’s in full swing. I can already tell that people will be talking about it for weeks to come.

But as much as I hate to admit it, I’m not having fun. I thought that I wouldn’t just because I’m alone, but it’s so much more than that. I can’t get what Serena said—what she’s been saying for months—out of my head.

I should tell him. He wouldn’t say no to me on my birthday, right?

But he’s nowhere to be found. If he doesn’t even care to show up to my eighteenth birthday party, then I certainly don’t care about him.

I won’t tell him. I won’t ever tell him.

But then I finally see him through the crowd and the dark room.

God, I love him.

Why do I keep thinking that when I see him?

I should tell him. No. No, let’s see what he has to say for himself.

He sidles up next to me and pulls an ornate pocket watch out of his suit pocket, raising it to eye level.

I furrow my eyebrows at him. “Trying to hypnotize me, Bass?”

He doesn’t say anything for a couple of seconds and then points at the clock right when the second hand hits the twelve. Just as the minute hand and the hour hand hit it as well.

“Happy birthday, Blair.”

I smile. Well done, Bass. “And here I thought you were late.”

“For you? Never.” He smiles back at me. Really smiles—not a smirk to be seen.

Just then, Serena comes out, cutting the crowd effortlessly as she walks with Dan holding the cake behind her. They’re both unsteadily carrying the tune to ‘Happy Birthday’ and everyone joins in, even Chuck.

Haha, Chuck singing.

They cut the cake, and Chuck even convinces me to eat a sliver of it.

Everyone’s enjoying the merriment and I even feel a sliver happier. Must have been the cake.

“Wanna go out to the balcony?” Chuck asks, an earnest and altogether un-Chuck-like look on his face.

Curiosity got the best of me.

“Sure.”

I follow him out and feel an odd sense of déjà vu flash over me. Sure, it was a different balcony, and I am most definitely not depressed about Nate, but I still feel like I might have a deal with the devil in my fate.

“The cake interrupted me being able to give you your present,” Chuck says as he whips three packages out from behind his back. I hadn’t even noticed that they were there. Not that I was distracted or anything.

Trying to hide the unique, child-like glee that shows up only when I’m opening presents, I grab the first package and open it as delicately as I could. “Stockings?” I ask.

“Your favorite falke stockings from Germany,” Chuck answers.

A hint of a smile creeps on my face as I reach for the next package.

“Macaroons from Pierre Hermé. I knew that you wouldn’t eat much cake, but that you couldn’t resist these. Everyone needs a little indulgence on their birthday.”

My mouth is already watering.

But instead of reaching for one, like I really wanted to, I reach for the final box instead. It was a large leather box, bright red. I snap it open and it reveals the necklace that came off hold yesterday.

I should have known it wasn’t from Cyrus after he invited Cyndi Lauper to the party. He’s smart enough to know that that would provide all the brownie points needed for the moment.

Why am I thinking about Cyrus at a time like this?

“It’s beautiful, Chuck,” is all I can say.

“I thought that we were deserving of a tradition,” Chuck says as he delicately unclasps the necklace and walks behind me to place it around my neck.

I feel hot where his fingers graze me, and cold where the expensive metal touches my skin. A shiver goes down my spine, and I know that he feels it. He turns me around so that we’re facing each other and suddenly I feel hot all over. He’s staring at me so intensely that suddenly I think that Serena’s right. I don’t want to be weak anymore.

“Chuck, I uh…”

“I love you.”

I blink. Wait, what?

“What?”

“I love you, Blair,” Chuck says, the earnest look returning to his face. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you.”

I’m still floundering. “I-I came here to tell you that,” was all I could say.

Chuck looks amazed. “Really?”

“Well, I kinda just decided right now. Spur of the moment kind of thing.”

“Wow, Blair Waldorf doing something spur of the moment?” Chuck let out a genuine laugh. “I’ve been planning for weeks, after months of Serena badgering me.”

“Serena’s been talking to you too?”

The two of us look through the glass doors into the party and see Serena not so inconspicuously looking at the two of us. When she sees us, she turns away abruptly and starts talking with Dan. I’ve got to teach her how to be a better actress.

“I’m not really surprised,” I say finally. “She wanted us back together not because she liked us together but because she wants me to be fun again.” I pause and step closer to him. “And everyone knows there’s no Blair Waldorf without Chuck Bass.”

“And there’s no Chuck Bass without Blair Waldorf.”

“I love you,” I finally say. The words feel foreign in my mouth, as though I’ve never said them before. Of course that isn’t true, but I don’t think that I’ve ever felt them as truly as I feel them in this moment. This moment with everyone I know inside a couple of yards away from me, the biting November air against my skin, and the man I love not two feet away from me. “Well, are you gonna kiss me or not?”

He does.

“I love you too,” he murmurs against my lips in between a breath.

We make out for a few more moments when I see a bright flash. We break apart and I see Serena again, staring at us through the door, this time making no attempt to look away, camera phone in hand.

“This is all thanks to me, everyone!” I can hear her squealing even through the thick Plexiglas. “Happy birthday, Blair! Smile for the camera!”

I smile for about two seconds so that she could get a cute shot, and then start flicking her off.

“Love you too, B!”

“You know,” I murmur to Chuck in between kisses. “Serena’s probably going to regret this when she remembers that her bedroom is next to yours.”

“Well,” Chuck shrugs, “she asked for it.”


	2. Unexpected Sequel Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan on making this into a twoshot, but it was requested, so here you go. A tiny bonus chapter.

“I hate this!” Serena exclaimed as she and Dan walked through the school courtyard to their first class of the day. “I wish I had never gotten them back together.”

Dan put his hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh. “Are you crying?”

Serena smacked his head. “It’s because I’m so fucking tired, you idiot. I don’t even know what I’m saying right now.”

“Chuck and Blair keeping you up?”

Serena nodded, sobbing slightly with exhaustion.

“Well, I’d invite you to sleep at my house, but with Nate staying here and everything, it’s kinda crowded,” Dan said. “That and I don’t think that my dad would go for it.”

Just then, Chuck and Blair walked by hand and hand, looking polished and put together—the epitome of class and perfection.

“Sleep well last night, sis?” Chuck asked, a smarmy smile appearing on his face as he gave Blair a quick peck on the lips.

Serena held back her tears, which were still flowing unheeded from her tired, tired eyes and used all her strength to send Chuck a biting glare and flip him the bird.

Dan, for his part, quickly smacked Serena’s hand down when a teacher walked by and then offered to run off and get her a coffee.

Well, at least someone was on her side.

* * *

“Serena, where were you in gym today?” Blair asked innocently as she swallowed a small scoop of her yogurt. “You know that skipping class looks bad on your record.”

Serena let out a sloppy yawn as she sipped on her black, sweetened coffee—her third of the day and it was only lunch. “I went to the nurse.”

“Aw, it’s true, you haven’t been looking good lately,” Blair said with false sympathy, clearly reveling in Serena’s tired state. “What on earth could be the matter?”

“Blair, shut up before I throw my coffee in your face.”

“I don’t know, S. You don’t really look like you can be wasting your caffeine like that,” Hazel piped up with a giggle.

“Never underestimate the importance of beauty rest, girls,” Blair said, finishing her yogurt and getting up. But not before she bent over and whispered into Serena’s ear, “and satisfaction.” She then flounced away.

That was it. Serena needed a new best friend.

* * *

When Serena got home, she immediately made a beeline for her room, fully intent on taking a nap. But then she heard voices coming from the room beside hers and realized that Chuck and Blair had gotten back before her. Stupid limo. They didn’t even offer her a ride.

Then Serena thought about it.

No, she definitely wouldn’t have wanted a ride in _that_ limo.

She went to her room anyway so that she could take her bedding off and bring it to the couch in the foyer when she realized that Chuck and Blair were just _talking_.

Wow, that was new.

“Do you think that we’ve tortured Serena enough?” Serena heard Blair asking through the wall, her voice uncharacteristically soft and caring.

Serena from her perch on her bed nodded her head vigorously, yawning for the millionth time that day.

“But it’s so much fun,” Chuck said.”

Basstard. She would kill him.

“But she’s kinda the reason we’re back together,” Blair reasoned. “We owe her a lot.”

They should bet their asses they owed her a lot. Ear plugs at the very least.

“Okay, okay, you’re right,” Chuck relented, making Serena perk up for the first time in weeks. “We should go easy on her. Let her sleep tonight.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Then there was silence for a few moments, and Serena flopped down on her bed, a huge smile plastered on her face. Maybe Chuck and Blair were good together. Maybe even perfect, now that she was going to get a little shut-eye. She snuggled deeper into her bed and let out a huge sigh. She was going to sleep for the next fourteen hours straight, no question. Then she heard talking again.

“One more time having sex against her wall?” she heard Blair ask.

Then she heard the clothes begin to fly. She growled.

They were going to die.


End file.
